You all know that a friend of my youth, Lloyd , is going to roll in from Seattle on the Empire Builder in a couple of days. Frikkin’ yikes.
I’ve already described my housekeeping, style as “One step before the Board of Health” because my fiddle-about life is so full of little stuff I enjoy that those dirty windows, crappy bathrooms and neglected flat surfaces can be invisible to me for weeks, nay months, nay years. Martha, I hang my head in shame.
Then providence, in the form of a house guest arrives . I’m not speaking lightly here. The last time we put out the bucks to make the family hovel look good was before Lou held a party for my 50th birthday. We’ve gone on a tear. viz:
1) At ten tomorrow morning two ladies from a cleaning service will come do their magic — bathrooms and floors and cobwebs and stuff.
2)We were cleaning up today before the owner of the cleaning company showed up for a walk-through, and our vacuum cleaner died. No shit. Lou headed off to Sears for a replacement and I’m thrilled, because I’ve hated my old vac for ten years. Really hated it.
3)He turned up with not only a vac but two new phones! Neither of our phones have worked in any but the most primitive sense, for five years. The one in the kitchen, so encased in smoke and grease that I gave up on cleaning it was an eyesore that should have been on a Federal Cleanup site.
4)He got a haircut. I don’t understand why most of his grey hair disappears after he gets a hair cut, but it does.
5)After my mother died two summers ago i gave up on my garden. It’s reverted to prairie, as has the lawn.We said “Give up!” and received, through Abel, who bought his house, https://cheapcheer.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/on-the-
street-where-i-live-tiny/ Victor’s phone number. He came around last cold rainy Saturday and we walked, the estate. We’re gonna pay him and his crew a fortune to do and undo all the things I should have done. I feel bad about this — Mexican landscapers? Victor’s down with it — he cleaned the garden up before that 50th birthday party.
6)New pots and pans.
7)I polished a lot of silver.
8)New shower curtain.
11) Light bulb replacement
12)New smoke alarm.
And with all this i know, I just know that when Lloyd walks through the door, I’ll spot every littered surface, every speck of pollen, and die inside. I hope that eating and talking politics and sightseeing together will be a distraction. I don’t think he’ll care about the housekeeping! We’ll be doing the Frank Lloyd Wright tour and eating a double cheezeburger at the Billy Goat. But I’m grateful that his visit has propelled me to do things I’ve always known I wanted to do. Maybe I can put off the Board of Health for a few more months