We were fustering around last night at about five o’clock, wondering what the Sam Hill we were going to have for dinner. We’ve never gone on a once a week food shopping trip, so unless we’ve picked up some protein on a trip to Super H Mart, we mostly shop for food every day. Yes a waste of fuel and time, but as I’ve mentioned we have a handful of independent grocery stores (Italian, Mexican, Polish) within easy driving distance and , hey, it’s something new to do every day.
We don’t own a pair of scales, but I have my weight-watching device: a twelve year old pair, pre-spandex, natural waist Gap jeans in a size I wore in my late thirties. I can still get some thumb room under the waistband. The torrid temps here this summer have limited our protein to mostly chicken, and I’m fed up with tiny slivers of skirt steak, romaine and tomatoes. So when questioned about my menu preference I said: “I want a cheeseburger. A big one. We still have that good leftover coleslaw.”
He thought about it, remembering that we have an almost virgin pot of oil in the deep fryer and said:”OK, if it can be a Rodeo Cheeseburger.”
I said “Whaa?” He said “Onion Rings,” and headed the Yaris to the Carcineria Hernandez. He returned with a couple of pounds of their impeccable ground chuck, a half pound of melting Chihuahua and a five inch diameter onion.
I’m not sure I ever ate the original Rodeo Cheeseburger, but he clearly had. Here’s the dope from Wikipedia:
“The Rodeo Cheeseburger was created to coincide with the release of the film Small Soldiers in 1998. It was advertised using a parody of the Tom Cruise film A Few Good Men. In the commercial,Chip Hazard quoted Jack Nicholson‘s line “you can’t handle the truth” as “you can’t handle the Rodeo Burger.”
Although discontinued nationally in the U.S., the Rodeo Cheeseburger can still be found regionally in some locations as part of Burger King’s value menu. It is also available in parts of Europe andSouth America.
In 2007, BK switched its barbecue sauce from Bulls-Eye to Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue sauce.“
What Lou remembered was the genius topping of fried onions, and trust me, mes amis, the combination of the meat, cheese and the crispy crunch of a fried onion topping is superlative. We had plain ole hamburger buns, not the sesame seeded version BK used. But holy jumping catfish, BK didn’t have slices of melting Chihuahua, and it didn’t have our onion rings. The BK version gave three per Rodeo Cheeseburger customer. We mixed up that thin flour and water glue that is a tempura coating and deep fried the whole studly onion. They cracked under the teeth and tasted of pure onion.
One of my quirks is that I dislike barbecue sauce on burgers, preferring Moutarde de Dijon. This drives him nuts. He admits that he went overboard on the Sweet Baby Rays on his burgers, but check out the mountain of the best onion rings I’ve ever crunched:
BK had a good idea. But I’m smug and confident in saying we kicked its ass.